Growing up amid a sizable family, predominantly comprised of brothers and tragically, the brief presence of a sister who passed away at a mere four days old, posed its unique challenges. The dynamic within the family home, shared with five brothers, prompted me to seek a different path at a relatively young age. This journey led me to the tranquil confines of Katherine, a small town nestled in the Northern Territory of Australia. It's in this quaint setting that I found myself grappling with the complexities of familial relationships and, concurrently, exploring the depths of my own identity.
From early on, an innate awareness of my distinctiveness from my brothers permeated my consciousness. The subtle realisation that I didn't quite align with the family's way of life, paradoxically, brought me a sense of contentment. This sentiment was not lost on my Nan, a confidante who affectionately referred to me as Toby during our intimate conversations. "You are different from all of them," she affirmed a sentiment that resonated as a source of solace. Despite this divergence, family gatherings became increasingly arduous as I navigated the sea of sporting anecdotes and self-aggrandizing narratives. My inclination to forge connections elsewhere during festive occasions, such as spending Christmas with friends, became a recurring theme in my quest for a more harmonious resonance.
While a genuine love for my family endured, the profound, interconnected love that ideally accompanies familial bonds eluded us. This void, coupled with moments of discomfort and aversion, led me to carve a geographical distance as I progressed through life. Following the passing of our mother, attempts to reconcile with the four surviving brothers, spurred by the passing of the third-born sibling, materialized in sporadic family gatherings. These endeavors, marked by logistical challenges and a sense of disconnection, unfolded against a backdrop of familial dynamics characterized by jealousy and betrayal. The aftermath of these endeavors, compounded by the disruptions brought forth by the pandemic, solidified my resolve to distance myself from the familial milieu.
The notion that family extends beyond blood ties finds resonance in the profound connections forged with friends who, over time, have become an integral part of my chosen family. Within the realm of biological relations, my engagement predominantly centers around my two beloved sons and my grandson, their lives unfolding in tandem with my own yet traversing distinctly unique paths.
Embracing the philosophy of living a life attuned to the soul's rhythm, I've come to acknowledge that connections tethered by shared frequencies endure, while those devoid of such resonance gradually fade into the recesses of memory. This paradigm extends even to family ties, underscoring the complexity of relationships governed by soulful connections.
Despite the apparent divergence in spiritual beliefs and lifestyle choices, a significant facet of my identity, I've refrained from unveiling these intricacies to my family. An early encounter with celestial beings, notably angels, met skepticism and denial within my strict Catholic upbringing. This divergence, however, did not deter me from pursuing a spiritual journey that encompasses conversations with angels, engagement with spirit guides, and the intricate realm of energy healing. These pursuits, albeit dismissed as fantastical by my family, have become integral components of my enriched life.
In embracing my authentic self, complete with spiritual revelations and endeavours, I've come to a profound appreciation for life. The opinions of family and external judgments no longer hold sway over my self-perception. This journey has positioned me to extend guidance to others navigating their own paths through the intricacies of our controlled world. The core tenet of prioritising self-love remains an unwavering principle, fostering harmony with the universe. With each passing day, my love for life, robust health, and profound self-love affirm the transformative power of embracing one's true self.
Love, light, and blessings.