Reflecting on the passage of many decades makes me feel a bit old, but age has never defined me. I've always believed that one's age is determined by how one thinks, not by a number on a calendar. I've effortlessly connected with people of all ages, adapting myself to their energy and perspective. Sometimes I find myself behaving like someone in their sixties, and other times, when conversing with those in their twenties, I'm transported back to that youthful mindset.
Yet, regardless of age, we often allow others to affect our feelings. It took me a while to realise that no one can hurt me unless I permit them to do so. In the past, I used to let the words and actions of others deeply upset me. I would allow myself to be used or betrayed, only to repeatedly return to the same situation. In hindsight, I understand that I was my own worst enemy. While others may have acted inappropriately, I enabled their behaviour by often subjecting myself to it. It was a painful realisation that I had allowed myself to be mistreated and taken advantage of. But ultimately, I recognised that I held the power to break that cycle by setting boundaries and valuing my worth.
Hurting others is, in my opinion, a despicable act. It's particularly disheartening when someone extends a caring hand only to be met with mistreatment in return. Believing oneself superior to another and treating them with disdain or pity reflects a profound lack of empathy and decency. In my book, that's among the lowest behaviours one can exhibit.
Now, if you find yourself on the receiving end of such mistreatment, it's essential to examine why you're allowing it to continue. One of the root causes often boils down to a lack of self-love. If you truly valued yourself, you wouldn't tolerate such disrespect. Instead, you might confront the perpetrator head-on, asserting your worth, and then sever ties completely.
It's crucial to safeguard yourself against toxic individuals. When faced with their toxicity, opting for silence and distance is often the best course of action. Engaging with them only invites further hurt and distress. Toxic people thrive on drama and conflict, but they're ill-equipped to handle silence. Let them talk; their words hold no power unless you grant it to them.
Remember, you may hear whispers of gossip and slander about you, with them painting you as the villain. But as long as you remain true to yourself, their words are nothing more than empty noise. Words can only wound if you allow them to penetrate your defences. So stand firm in your truth, and let their toxicity dissipate into the void.
Receiving a letter from one of my exes long after our divorce stirred up a whirlwind of emotions. In her words, she placed the blame squarely on my shoulders without acknowledging any fault of her own. While I can admit that I wasn't perfect and could have handled some things better, her insistence that I was entirely in the wrong struck a nerve.
Initially, I felt the urge to retaliate, to give her a piece of my mind. But instead, I chose silence. I refused to dignify her accusations with a response. Though I was angry with myself for even entertaining her letter, I realised that reacting would only perpetuate the cycle of negativity.
So, I made a conscious decision to disengage. I blocked her on all social media platforms and promptly deleted any subsequent messages without reading them. It was a clean break—I severed all ties and haven't spoken to or seen her in years.
When I cut those cords, I did so with a heart full of well-wishes for her future. I accepted that our paths had diverged and wished her nothing but happiness. By refusing to engage further, I took back control of the situation. And in doing so, I left her more frustrated than I was, for my silence spoke volumes.
If you ever hear that people are talking about you behind your back or if they mistreat you in public, it's crucial not to react impulsively. You're better than stooping to their level. Instead, distance yourself from them and sever all ties. Responding with silence can be a powerful statement. It leaves them wondering about your thoughts and actions, which many people find unsettling, especially if they suspect it's about them.
You maintain your dignity and integrity by remaining true to yourself and refusing to engage in petty drama. Ultimately, your silence speaks volumes and is often the most effective way to handle such situations.
Love life, Love who you are.
In Love, Light and Blessings.