Recently, I delved into the benefits of stilling the mind, highlighting the transformative power that lies within us, accessible simply by attaining silence and harmonizing the mind with our planet and the Universe. It all sounds quite straightforward, doesn't it?
Now, let's explore the flip side of the mind—the aspect when it races a million miles an hour with a cascade of thoughts, often negative. This inner turmoil leaves us clueless about how to deal with the relentless stream of thoughts. When does it end? When can we find relaxation, sit in comfort, and relish who we are and what we desire our lives to be?
The above paragraph perfectly encapsulates my past self. I battled anxiety and panic attacks fueled by a ceaseless barrage of negative thoughts. Years of this mental turmoil led to a profound sense of unworthiness, a feeling of not being good enough, especially to myself. It seemed never-ending, and at times, I questioned whether life was worth living if this was the hand it dealt me.
I've previously touched on my experiences with panic attacks and dark nights in some of my blogs. There were moments when I contemplated putting a stop to this internal chatter. I reached an all-time low, and while I can't be certain if it was life-threatening, the panic attacks were undoubtedly relentless. They lurked like a menacing monster, ready to pounce whenever I dared to think that my life might stabilize.
Any inkling of normality seemed to trigger a horrific panic attack. The ensuing mental chaos left me wondering why these attacks happened over seemingly inconsequential matters. I felt the need to understand and control this relentless monster in the recesses of my mind.
In my younger years, I had conversed with Angels, but the habit faded during my years of substance abuse. When I embarked on sobriety, panic attacks intensified, especially after being put on antidepressants by doctors. Fast forward a few more years, I was clean from all substances, reconnected with my Angels (particularly Archangel Michael), and embraced meditation.
Then came the lights. These lights became a guiding force in stilling my mind during meditation. A beautiful bluish cobalt light would flash, starting as a small ball in the distance before expanding into a massive blue mass. In the center, there would be an explosion of the most enchanting yellow light. This mesmerizing display connected me to the angelic realm, fostering oneness with Source. This experience propelled me into studying self-help, connecting with angelic and spirit guides, and ultimately, loving the most important person in my life—myself.
As my self-love deepened, the opinions of others held less sway over me. I reached a point in my life where I live for myself. Loving and prioritizing my own well-being became paramount. I have no one to impress or love except the one writing this, and I've grown to love myself immensely.
If you can resonate with this journey, imagine silencing the chatter in your mind, becoming one with Source, and transcending concerns about others' opinions. Amidst the chaos of the world, focusing on your own well-being can bring profound peace. Cherish yourself, meditate, and cleanse your mind of chatter. Love yourself, become one with the rhythm of life, and revel in the joy of being you.
In Love, Light, and Blessings,