The concept of the "dark night of the soul" is something that became a significant part of my journey as I delved into my awakening. Initially, I believed it wouldn't impact me, assuming that awakening shielded me from such experiences. However, I have faced several dark nights, and though I'm unsure if there's a set number one should endure, I can attest that I've had my share.
These moments of profound darkness coincided with full moons for me. I'm uncertain if others undergoing dark nights share this lunar connection, but for me, it has been a consistent pattern.
Explaining the nature of a dark night is challenging. It's a mental and emotional turmoil where questions about identity, purpose, and the worth of our existence flood the mind. Thoughts of disconnection and a desire to escape Earth's struggles intensify. During these episodes, you feel like a mere speck in the vast universe, utterly detached.
In these moments, you find yourself lying there, perhaps curled up in the fetal position, tears streaming down, feeling lost, and questioning everything. The ordeal might last for an hour or an entire night – time loses its significance. You're simply there. You have no idea what you are doing there or if you will come out of this
Then, a spark appears. A light begins to grow slowly. This is your soul pulling you back from the abyss, reminding you of your worth and the immense contribution you can make to the world. Even if you feel you're not helping anyone, your first responsibility is to yourself. You must love yourself first. Watching that light expand gives you the strength to rise again. Once back to reality, you ponder on what transpired, recognizing the reality of the experience.
Sometimes, I find myself sleeping for hours afterward, utterly drained. Yet, the one constant is the agreement within myself that I am worth it. I am worth fighting for, and most importantly, I am worth loving.
Returning to daily life, I reflect on these dark nights. Were they mere dreams? No, the soul confirms their authenticity. The journey of awakening is undoubtedly challenging, but I am content with the person I've become. This contentment doesn't stem from ego; it's a soulful acknowledgment. I've learned to prioritize myself and, above all, to love myself more than anything on this planet.
In Love, Light and Blessings